Someone I spoke with today for a project I'm working on had her handler call me back to chastise me for the tone of voice I used in our conversation. Apparently I sounded too confrontational and she didn't like my line of questioning.
Luckily that call came at 6:30 p.m. because it totally ruined what was left of my day.
I had no intention of being confrontational. I was a bit stressed, though, and sometimes that can come off as cutting. My parents used to get on my case, too, about a certain tone of voice that seems to lurk inside of me. If I'm not careful, it has a way of bursting out - often without me even noticing.
There are some people in my line of work who cultivate a "gotcha" approach and pride themselves on being disliked/feared. I'm torn. On one hand, I don't want to be seen as a pushover, afraid to ask the tough questions or stick up for herself. On the other, I'm deeply insecure and want - even need - people to like me.
And now I'm going to be paranoid about my tone of voice during every conversation I have for at least a week.
No wonder I prefer spending time alone. Being nice to people is exhausting.
3 comments:
Well I like you. People who get upset just haven't had enough time with you yet and by complaining they're solving their own original flaw. Easily fixed.
You use whatever kind of tone you want. People need a good jolt once in a while.
You are sweet Eric. As an update, I had a chance meeting with the offended person today face to face and I introduced myself as the wicked witch with the nasty tone. Chalked it up to my poor people skills and apologized. She was embarrassed that her handler made such a deal of it. I feel better now. But I'll never be sugar sweet, will I?
"But I'll never be sugar sweet, will I?"
huh, that makes me giggle.
just remember when you are on the phone to smile. like in your picture w/ lyle.
smile and the person on the other end of the line can hear/see/feel it.
and bar... you are correct. spend time w/ julie and you fix the problem.
everybody likes julie.
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