Sunday, April 19, 2009

Kids Say the Darndest Things

Remember that 1970s Mormon film with the kids answering gospel questions? The one with the girl who starts singing about Pebbles and Bam Bam when asked who the Devil is? That one makes my sides ache with laughter every time. I couldn't dig it up on YouTube, but this one's just as good for a laugh.



And the beautiful thing is every kid I've ever known says the darndest things. Like my four year old niece who took offense when her dad said she had "cabin fever" from being cooped up all day.

"Nuh, uh!" she said, hands on hips. "I don't have cavity fever! I brush my teeth every night!"

Kids do the darndest things, too. Saturday night our Primary had its annual talent show, including these highlights:

  • Three little 3-year-olds in tutus running around in circles to "Thank Heaven for Little Girls."
  • A stage full of 8-11 year olds in sequined leotards trying (in vain) not to smack each other with their twirling batons.
  • A 7-year-old reading his own 5 page story about a superhero's space adventures and epic battles.
  • Lots of little girls singing lovely songs, including a 3-year-old performing "Fifty Nifty United States." When was the last time you met a 3-year-old who could recite all 50 states in alphabetical order? I asked which one was her favorite? Maine. No idea why.

The lowlight of the show was my last-minute role as emcee, using dumb jokes I found online to keep the audience occupied between acts.

Where do cows come from? Cow-a-fornia.
Why did the football coach go to the bank? Because he wanted his quarter back!

Even if I'd been wearing a tutu, I couldn't compete with the kids for entertainment.

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