My big mouth is gonna get me killed

So, I'm at church Wednesday night, trying to keep track of the 17 little girls I'm supposed to be mentoring and one of the other leaders - a friend of mine - introduces me to this really nice Polynesian man. He's really big, but seems like kind of a teddy bear.

My friend says "Sione here's a wrestler." And I'm like, "Oh really? In college?" (The guy's probably fifty or so, but I'm trying to be nice.) "Pro-wrestling," says my friend.

I think he's joking. I laugh and say, "Right, so what's your wrestling thing, huh? Do you have a big scary name or something?"

To this point Sione's done nothing but smile and shake my hand. Then he says, "They call me The Barbarian."

"Really?" I say, still not buying it. "So what, do you come out with like blood spewing from your mouth or something?"

"No, but that would have been good," Sione says. He goes on to tell me he still wrestles, but only on the rare occasions they like to "bring out the old guys."

The entire episode slipping my mind until just a few minutes ago. I googled "The Barbarian."

Apparently The Barbarian is a pro-wrestling legend. Back in the 80s he was known for his "diving headbutts and incredible strength. He could military press a 220 lb wrestler over his head with both hands, remove one hand, and hold him there for quite some time."

The photo above is a bit old, I think, judging from the Mr. T look. But this video shows him wrestling just last year. The music is cheesy, but look at the size of this guy!



The Barbarian lives right here in Charlotte and his wife goes to my LDS ward. Which is probably the only thing that stopped him from flicking a wrist and knocking every tooth out of my impertinent, disbelieving head.