I woke up in a different pair of pajamas from the one I put on before bed.
I remember getting up once for a drink and thinking it was hot in the house. I remember getting up another time to use the bathroom. I do not remember going to the dryer, digging around for a different pair of pajamas, changing clothes, throwing the old pjs in the dryer and returning to bed.
But there's no doubt I did it. And I've been out-of-sorts all day because of it.
I like to be in control all of the time. When I'm not, it makes me anxious. So, I suppose it's poetically just that I'm a regular sleeptalker and frequent sleepwalker. Usually I wake up mid-escapade and head back to bed. Until today, I actually thought I always woke up when I sleepwalked. Now I wonder what else I'm up to at night. It seems to be worse when I'm sleeping fitfully - as has been the case all week, due to the heat and various mental stress.
Luckily, I've never found the door gaping open, the car on or dirt in my bed to suggest that I've been traipsing around outside - or worse.
The idea that for 8 hours of every day I might be doing things over which I have absolutely no control - and often no memory - is terribly unsettling.
And that's exactly why I've never once been tempted to get drunk and do crazy stuff I won't remember the next day. If I want to be out of my mind, I just have to close my eyes.
1 comment:
I remember that from when you were younger - I did not know you were still doing it. How fascinating!
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